To My Littles

Rusten, Reed, Kensley and Goober,

Our lives are about to change.  At church yesterday, Pastor John announced that he and Miss Marlo were going to step down as lead pastor and that daddy and I would be stepping into that role.  

Since daddy and I were dating, many moons ago, we have always felt called into full-time ministry. We never really saw it playing out like this, but it is something that we are excited about.  We love Pastor John and Miss Marlo so very much.  They were our youth pastors, they were a part of our wedding, they dedicated you, Rusten and Reed, and they are very precious to our family.  It's an awkward excitement (as your dad keeps saying), that we feel.  Although we always have the assurance that you're going to marry Jadyn someday, Rusten, so we know they'll always be a part of our lives!

As I type this post, you three (Goober, you're still in my tummy, so you're sitting here with me) are running around playing hide and seek.  Rusten you're out of school today.  You boys keep passing by me asking if I've seen the other, and sister just screams and laughs as she follows you two.  I love the innocence and simplicity of all that entertains you three.  Goober, you seem to be entertained by nestling up in my ribs ... ouch! 

I say all that, because I want you to know that daddy and I promise, by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us, to maintain a peaceful, innocent, simple environment for you to thrive.  You four are more important to us than anyone else in the world.  We want you to know that our family will always be first before ministry.  Your walk with the Lord and your knowledge of His Gospel, His Great Rescue Plan, will always be our priority.  

I get nervous sometimes when I think about this transition, as I realize that there will be more time demands on our family, especially daddy.  But we will continually seek the Lord to help us maintain the proper priorities.  I want you to always feel free to tell us if we aren't.  

I love you guys more than you'll ever know ... well, at least until you have kids of your own, then you might understand a little.  We pray for you guys all the time, and we can't wait to see all the amazing things God has planned for each of your lives. 

"Love You More Than Life", or Do I?

This is the song I heard on the radio yesterday.  It was being sung to the Lord, but in considering the context of the rest of the song, it seemed so fake.  I wish I knew who sung it and could give you a snipit of the lyrics.  But alas, you shall have to trust me.

Don't get me wrong.  This is the attitude that we should all have.  Christ's sacrifice for us entitles Him to our unadulterated love, and more.  The problem I had with the song was the pride it contained.  The singer was proud that he loved God more than life.  At that moment, he now loved himself more than he loved God because he believed he loved God more than anything.

As I continued with my morning routine and the song finished and another song came on, I pondered whether or not I could I say this with a sincere humility.  I was rather disappointed in my answer.  I want to love God more than anything, anyone, more than life itself.  But the reality is, I'm a broken person.  We all are.  There are moments in our lives where we realize our need for God more than anything.  There are moments of blessing and triumph where we genuinely attribute that mountain-top experience to God, and love Him more than the moment itself.  But to live a life that loudly portrays a love of God, surpassing a love of anything else, is something I'm not sure we'll ever attain here on earth, without the help of the One who loved us first.  It is definitely something we can never attain on our own strength.

In Psalm 103:14, David says "For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust."  God knows we are incapable of pure devotion on our own.  He even gave Paul a "thorn in the flesh" to keep him coming back to the true source of strength.  Before God set His rescue plan into motion, He knew that we would never deserve it and that we could never earn it, and we certainly would never be able to show our gratitude and love in a manner worthy of the sacrifice.  But He did it anyway.

Thank You Lord that You are continually helping us to lay aside the ups and downs of this earthly life, and helping us focus on the One that matters, ultimately for Your glory!

A Rebirth, of Sorts

After a year hiatus, maybe it's time to get back on here.  So much has changed, from our family, our circumstances, and most importantly, my heart.  The intention of this blog, started several years ago, was to compensate for my horrible babybooking skills.  I figured if I could update this regularly, my children would forgive me for them not having very detailed baby books.  However, the Lord has changed my life and my heart so much over this last year, I desire for this blog to leave a legacy of the grace of the Gospel to my kids ... and it's application thereof on things that probably should have been babybooked.  I heard a song on the radio yesterday that made me think of blogging again.  So hopefully, this time it will stick.

To briefly update our lives, we moved houses, I quit my job, we have another bundle on the way (due in 8 weeks, and no idea what we're having!), and many more exciting changes coming down the pipe.  I love my life.  God has blessed us and allowed some tough challenges, but how can you not enjoy the ride when you know He's driving?

Most importantly, God has shown me that the Gospel wasn't just for my salvation.  The Gospel is for my daily sanctification.  The same power that saved me is what is going to sustain me.  God didn't save me and then expect me to make changes to my life on my own.  He didn't save me and step back to allow me to prove my abilities.  He saved me, and fully intends to walk every day with me to help me and change me.  I view the Bible much differently now.  Where I used to see a reference book, I know see a grand story that all points to a Rescue Plan much greater than you or I.  I am excited about the new things God is teaching me, and I'm hungry to learn.  I hope I can pass along some of that excitement and I hope that, by the grace of God, I can leave a legacy of a life lived in the grace of the Gospel to my children.